The institution of soccer match days is a magical thing and every match-going fan will, more often than not, have a number of rituals that will be militantly stuck to (otherwise their team might lose and they will blame themselves).
Rituals come in many guises, there are the standard ones such as wearing your lucky shirt (or underwear, or both!), buying a souvenir programme, always eating the same breakfast, placing a bet on your EPL team, walking the same way to the stadium every time and sitting in the same seat in the pub before the match.
But one of the most important match day rituals is singing along to your team’s chants. Chants, or terrace songs, are a match day highlight and one which sets soccer apart from other U.K. sports, mostly due to their sharp wit and colourful language.
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Chants tend to be creatively composed by one clever hardcore fan, and it is often it is the same fan or set of fans who come up with the mainstay chants. The chant would have been practiced at home and debuted to mates who would then give the thumbs up or thumbs down.
Upon a positive reaction the chant will be bravely started on the terrace during a match and before you know it, tens of thousands of fans are singing the chant week in week out. Of course, the norm of uploading social media videos has sped up this process significantly.
Here are some terrace favourites, as you’ll see, some include the colourful language I refer to and we wouldn’t have it any other way:
Manchester United
About their superstar signing, Bruno Fernandes, who joined from Sporting Lisbon.
“BRUNO, BRUNO, BRUNO… HE’S FROM SPORTING LIKE CRISTANO. HE GOES LEFT, HE GOES RIGHT, MAKES DEFENDERS LOOK SH*TE… HE’S OUR PORTUGESE MAGNIFICOOOO”.
About their former player, Owen Hargreaves. This chant follows the tune of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’.
“OHHH OWEN HARGREAVES, YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, OH OWEN HARGREAVES, I’D LET YOU SH*G MY WIFE, OH OWEN HARGREAVES, I WANT CURLY HAIR TOOOOO”
About their current forward, Anthony Elanga. This chant follows the tune of ‘Rhythm Is A Dancer’.
“RHYTHM IS A DANCER, ANTHONY ELANGA, YOU WON’T STOP HIM IF YOU DARE, CAME FROM SCANDINAVIA, TO BE UNITED’S SAVIOUR, SCORING GOALS FROM EVERYWHERE…..OHHHH OHHHH HE’S ELANGA”
Liverpool
About their iconic 6’7 striker.
“HE’S BIG, HE’S RED. HIS FEET STICK OUT THE BED… PETER CROUCH, PETER CROUCH”
Chelsea
About their rivals, West Ham, who have a tradition for singing ‘I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles’.
“I’M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES… PRETTY BUBBLES IN THE AIR… THEY FLY SO HIGH… THEY REACH THE SKY… AND LIKE WEST HAM… THEY FADE AND DIE”
Arsenal
About their former midfielder, Cesc Fabregas. This chant follows the tune of Salt & Pepper’s hit, ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’.
‘LET’S TALK ABOUT CESC BABY, LET’S TALK ABOUT FLAM-IN-I, LET’S TALK ABOUT THEO WALCOTT, FREDDIE LJUNGBERG AND HENRY, LET’S TALK ABOUT CESC, LET’S TALK ABOUT CESC”
To their to star players, Bukayo Saka and Emile Smith Rowe. This chant follows the tune of the famous Status Quo song, “I Like It”.
“HERE WE GO, OHH… SAKA AND EMILE SMITH ROWE…AND I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT, I LA-LA-LIKE IT, LA-LA, LIKE IT, HERE WE GO, OHHH… SAKA AND EMILE SMITH ROWE”
Manchester City
About their rival’s (Manchester United) former star player, Wayne Rooney.
“HE’S FAT, HE’S ROUND, HE ROLLS ALONG THE GROUND, WAYNE ROONEY, WAYNE ROONEY….HE’S FAT, HE’S RED……HE’LL TAKE YOUR GRAN TO BED……WAYNE ROONEY.”
To their star defender, Ruben Dias.
“RUBEN DIAS, OUR NUMBER 3, HE LEFT BENFICA TO COME TO CITY, HE’S WON THE CUP, HE’S WON THE LEAGUE, HE HATES UNITED AND HE LOVES CITY”
Tottenham Hotspur
About their current winger, Kulusevski. This chant follows the tune of ABBA’s hit ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!’.
“GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A GINGER FROM SWEDEN, HE CAME FROM JUVENTUS AND HE PLAYS ON THE WING…..GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A GINGER FROM SWEDEN”
England
On the very rare occasion that the England National team play Egypt.
“DOES YOUR MUMMY KNOW YOU’RE HERE?….DOES…YOUR..MUMMY…KNOW YOU’RE HERE??”
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I could go on an on forever with brilliant football chants, these do not scratch the surface. One thing is for sure, as long as there are soccer fans going to matches there will be inventive, funny and often brutal terrace chants. It is the tribalism factor which encompasses the nature of soccer rivalry and as long as it is taken in good spirit, long may it continue. With the EPL title still up for grabs, here are the latest odds on Premier League Football.
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